All Snowed In...

How was your Love Day? For those of us in the North East, we were hit with some pretty wicked weather! It was long over due.

Here, in Pennsylvania, we were a little spoiled by the lack of winter, and not too mention the seventy degree weather we experienced in December! Talk about crazy! But alas, we got hit. I just hope this is was the first and last of it.

You want to know where I hurt? My back...from trying to dig out from under all this snow. :)
One minute there was nothing, and the next, my back-yard looks like a winter wonder land. Down the street from me, there were countless teenagers with snowboards, merrily sliding down this fourty foot street; Which now resembles a mountain slope at some ski resort!

The weather report said 20 inches, but my back says, three feet! The more I dig, the more snow there seems to be. But, I can bet you one thing: I won't be digging tomorrow. Can someone say, "Snow Blower"!

Good Luck Digging Out!

Rue

Happy Love Day!

Another Valentine's day is upon us. How is your day going so far? Mine's? Forget about it! It's not that thrilling. However, I can say, the two feet of snow outside my door is a hoot!

I knew it was coming! This is the first real snow we've had this winter. Hopefully it will be the last. At least it's not nine feet of snow! Could you imagine? Yikes!

Anywho! I hope you're taking the opportunity to say I love you to someone today. Even though we should be doing this everyday. But, I encourage you, to think about someone you may know, that hasn't been having such a wonderful time of it lately. Think of someone who you might know, who might not have heard those special words in a while...and tell them, I love you. Every one needs to hear that. Do you know of any children that need a special hug? How about some elderly person? They're out there. So, let's do something a little different today. Instead of expecting a gift...YOU become the gift. Give someone the gift of you.

Perhaps you are saying, you need to hear those words yourself. Well, here you go: I LOVE YOU! Just the way you are! Now look in the mirror, and repeat: I Love You! Now, was that so hard? If it was, keep repeating it until it becomes easier. And, it will. Trust me.

Happy Love Day! God Loves You Best!

Rue

So Much Pain...

It is really heart breaking to see so many people in so much pain and grief. Suffering within their souls; crying out for help, and not receiving it.

I was sadden by the death of Anna Nicole Smith. No, I did not know her personally. However, I know many like her.

In my opinion--and I really don't care what anyone says--not even her own mother: It was a broken heart that killed her. It was plain to see, for anyone with a heart and a sense of compassion, to see that Ms. Smith was clearly grieving. I do not care what she sounded like, or what she appeared to look like, or the way she may have slurred her words. That was a woman--a mother--in some serious pain.

People over look the effects that losing a love one can have on someone. Some people are able to grieve and move on. For some, it never goes away. The loss, the pain, the grief. Leaving in your heart, a hole that is not easily filled. Ask any parent that has lost a child- another child does not, and cannot replace the life of the one lost.

My heart went out to her, as well as my prayers each time I saw her. Because, I recognized the deep, searing pain that she was in. Her heart was broken, and I believe it just gave up the fight.

The constant barrage of questioning, and the endless jabs of accusations were appearantly too overwhelming. As someone watching from afar, I empathized with her hurting soul.

For those who truly knew her best, and loved her best; they know the treasure that they have lost. And, I offer to them my deepest and sincerest condolences in their time of great mourning.

Perhaps you know someone that is grieving. Or, someone that is in great pain. Take a moment to put aside judgement, and offer a pair of open arms, and ears to listen; while keeping in mind, that words do have the power to heal, as they do kill.

Filled With Pride

I take pride in my heritage. Although it is vast, I take pride in who I am, and where I come from.

It is Black history month. And, we shouldn't wait to celebrate our heritage just once a year. Every day should be a celebration. A celebration of life. By living life to the fullest, and being thankful for the opportunities that our fore-fathers and mothers afforded us, through their blood, sweat, tears, and very life; Each day should be a celebration in our souls, our spirits, that we get another day to achieve greatness.

What is your greatness? Greatness, to me, is not necessarily defined by what we do, but by how we do what we do, and what for. A person may never be recognized for the things they do in life. Some may never say thank you. But, I want to say thank you.

Oftentimes, we over-look those that spend their lives, cleaning up after us, taking care of us in so many ways, that we do not see their "greatness".

One's greatness lies within their ability to do what they do, with joy and self satisfaction. It is to do what you do to the glory of God, and not to man.

I couldn't be the woman I am today, if it wasn't for the greatness of my fore-fathers and mothers. Those that were Kings and Queens, that became slaves. Those slaves that were beaten, ripped from their families, humiliated and denegrated, but still somehow, found the courage to push through. To those who worked meanial jobs, scrimped and saved, and provided for their families. For those that taught us how to pray, to have faith, and believe that God is a promise keeper of His Word.

To those, that fought the fight for equality. On the front lines, and behind the scenes. To those that lost their life fighting the good fight, and never giving up on treasured dreams. To those who passed the torched, and ignited the fuse to keep living for God, and to never give up. Knowing that one day, your reality was once your ancestor's dream. To all of them I say thank you, for their greatness, and shaping who I am.

Be Blessed, and embrace your Greatness.

Yesterday...

How did you spend yesterday? Did you do anything to commemorate Dr. King's Birthday?
Last evening, I watched some very moving and educating documentaries on PBS. (Check out PBS.org)

The documentaries were so moving. It contained things that I learned before and already knew about; nonetheless, it was very thought provoking and stirred in me, the need to be more vocal in my community; in my life in general.

What can we learn from yesterday? What can we learn from those who have gone before us? Who have prepared the way, so that we can partake in the liberties that we have right now?
We cannot afford to rest upon our laurels; or to rest upon what our forefathers have done. Because if we do, then we are being selfish, and cheating our children--the next generation--out of the knowledge and opportunity to grow and be effective.

We have to embrace yesterday. Take its lessons and teach the next generation what fighting for equality, AND the quality of life, is really all about.

Yesterday...It defines today, and perpetuates your tomorrow.

See Within Yourself...

Within us lies so much. Things we probably don't realize exist. There are some of us that experience great joy. Awesome happiness. And, unforgettable love. There is also within us, much hurt, pain, sadness, regrets, etc.

Often times, we walk around trying to evade what is going on within ourselves. Because it might just be too painful to deal with. But the more we try to run from it, the more we hurt. It is time for us to look within ourselves, and deal with our issues.

There is no more time to run and hide...life is too short. We must begin to look within, and take stock of what is going on, so we may deal with it. We will never be free from what hurts us, if we do not face it, confront it, deal with it, then destroy it. The more we bury it, the bigger it gets.

God does not want us filled with so much pain and hurt. He does not want us to be constantly suffering and hiding. He wants us to be free. To enjoy the life He has destined for us. In order to do this, we must begin to see withiin ourselves, and take inventory of what's really going on.

Take a look inside...don't you think you're worth it?

Give It Up...

Whatever it is today, that you just cannot handle...give it up! Whatever has been holding you down and giving you pain...Give it up! Life is too short to continue to have so many regrets and problems.

What would happen? Really. What would happen, if just for one day you gave up the battle of trying to figure out how to fix that problem or solve that solution?

I encourage you...Give it up! At least for today. Take a breather. Go do something that will bring you some joy and pleasure. It might suprise you, what will happen if you did.

Go ahead...that's right...Give it Up!

You Just Don't Know...You Are Beautiful!

The other day, I went shopping for a few things. As I was waiting for the bus, I began singing worship songs. I really didn't care who heard me...It wasn't for them anyway. So, there I am, standing in this small alcove with about seven people or so, and I notice this young woman walking towards us.

What made me notice her, was the fact that she was speaking out loud to herself, and cursing like a dirty sailor. I continued singing, but I couldn't remove my eyes from her...there was something about her. She was dressed as though she came from an interview. The closer she got, the louder she got. She was walking fast, shaking her head. When she got in front of me, I heard her say something so painful and disheartening: "I hate this s***! I can't stand it no more! I'm just so f****** ugly! I'm too ugly to live!"

My mouth flew open in disbelief. I turned around to see if everyone else heard what I heard. Everyone else was just standing there, not suprised. As if this happened everyday. I stepped forward out of the alcove to see where she was. She was walking so fast, I couldn't catch her, so I immediately started praying.

My heart went out to her. I don't know what her life is like, or what her experiences have been, but she was beautiful to me. It pained my heart to hear that. Because I hear it quite a bit. I have worked with many young people, adults, and even the elderly. And, it suprises me still, to see how many people do not love themselves. Let alone, like themselves. I'm not just talking about females, either. But males, as well.

We are living in such a vain world, that capitalizes on a person's looks. And, we are so driven to look like the people that seem to be getting the most attention. We aspire to look like the "beautiful" people, not seeing or believing our own beauty. We fight to be, and secretly wish to be one of the popular ones. Believing this would give us a chance in life.

Well, the truth is, we all have a chance in life. Whether we believe it or not. We all have in us the opportunity to either live life, or let life pass us by; always standing on the sidelines, waiting for some momentous thing to occur.

Who defines beauty for you? What defines beauty for you? Beauty begins within. And, no matter how popular you are, how many changes you make to the outside, you will never be satisfied, if inside you are not happy with yourself, and can appreciate who God created you to be.

I bet there are many popular, "beautiful" people who are miserable inside. But no one really knows that, because they are too focused on that person's outside appearance. I was fairly popular in school. I had a lot of friends; I could make friends easily. But, I was miserable on the inside. Because I was always comparing myself to some one else. I had a weight problem, and I felt I was ugly. I hated myself. But, many of my friends didn't know that. Even when I got to college. Do you know, I would coach other people on how to be out-going and self-loving, while I couldn't do that for myself? Well, of course you didn't know that! But, what I'm saying is, many people you see that seem so happy and have everything together, just may be miserable on the inside.

We are a peculiar species. Never realizing that the true secret to beauty, and happiness, lies within our selves. We have the ability, and capacity to live the kind of life that is fulfilling and exciting. If we would just recognize, that within every person, there is greatness, beauty, love, life. We don't have to hold ourselves to false standards, and false impressions. All we have to do, is begin to love the skin we are in. And, everything else will fall into place.

Maybe no one has ever told you, so I will: You just don't know, YOU are beautiful!

Be Blessed, Beautiful.

Don't Give Up...Get What's Yours!

Wow, it 's really 2007! Happy New Year!

Well, I've been away for a while. Packing, moving, unpacking, shopping for furnishings, and all that other good stuff. I am grateful to the Lord for another year. And, I am anticipating great things...And so should you.

When I started this blog, it was with the intentions of really wanting to know where people were hurting. Not to purvey into people's personal lives...But to be an ear and a source of encouragement.

We all have made our new years resolutions. I hope for many, that one was to be more compassionate and loving to those in need.

This new year brought some bad news for me...A friend committed suicide. She was filled with so much hurt and pain and despair. No one knows a person's breaking point. No one may really understand why a person takes their own life. Even when they leave a note. My friend did not.

There is nothing that I can do for her now, physically. But, I can be there for those she left behind, and honor her memory through helping someone else, who may be on the brink of despair. Her death has caused me to see, even more so, just how fragile life is; and how we should never take for granted the life that God has given us.

We may not like the way life is treating us, but I encourage us to seek for more by being more. Learn to love, learn to laugh, learn to not sweat the small things. And, if by chance you can't see your way out, seek out help and never stop praying, because God is listening. Don't give up on your dreams. Never give up on yourself. Be encouraged that you were blessed with another day to triumph over what happened yesterday.

You are loved. You are wanted. You are needed. And, it will get better. Be blessed this year, and get what's yours!

Be Blessed

Tell Me, What Are Husbands For?

Is it just me, or do husbands sometimes really miss the mark?
A friend and I were chatting last evening about husbands in general, and the differrences between men and women. Boy! We really are different.

Women, as we know, generally like to communicate emotionally. We may not come right out and say what it is we want, but we often elude to it, by do something meaningful.(By the way, this is not a good thing. We must learn to be direct, as well) A man is different. He usually is straight forward and blunt...sometimes too blunt! Half the time, they miss what we are saying to them anyway. So, what do we do? We must work on our communication skills.

My friend's husband wanted her to make a cuople of cakes for his business. She agreed. She took her time, and made a couple of pound cakes and bananna nut bread. Her husband says, he doesn't want the bananna bread, just the cake. Now, his wife being a great cake maker, says okay, but take some strawberries to go with the pound cake. Because it needed a fruit medley to go along with it. (She knows her cake, and knew she baked it a little too long). The husband: No, fruit don't go with that. The wife just smiles and says okay.

During this whole scenario, did the husband thank his wife...No. Did he thank her for the time she took out of her schedule...and their five kids, to say thanks? Nope. So, anywho...he takes it to his job, and for himself, a piece of the bananna nut bread. He comes home later, and says: Everyone loved your cake! They gave you great tips!... Now, do you think he left it there? Nope, he continues his conversation by saying: I thought it was a little dry! Could you believe that?! When she told me, I have to admit, I laughed. (we often laugh at our husbands...they are hilarious sometimes) It was so typical of him. She told him, that's why she wanted to give him the strawberries--to go with the pound cake! To which, he says: Oh...Do you have anymore bananna nut bread? She says, no. The kids ate it!

Now, in all this, my friend just wanted her husband to say thanks. Thank you, dear wife, for taking the time, and baking these cakes for me. I told her, he'd get the hint later....Before he left back out the house, she gave him the three pieces of bananna nut bread she saved for him. He just looked at her, put his head down and left. She called me back that evening...wanting to make me laugh...and she did! She said, when he got home, he told her..."Uh, the cake was really good. Can you make some more?" (His way of saying thank you)

I had to laugh! When are we going to learn that, women and men are just different? We really have to learn that key fact, and learn how to communicate effectively through our differences. Husbands and wives must come up with their own language. The marriage language. And, every marriage has it's own language...no two are the same. This comes when we start to listen to one another, and learn our husband's and wive's communication style.

What are husbands for? I can think of a whole lot. And, I'm looking forward to researching every one of them!

Live to Love

It's Not Easy Being Green!

Jealousy! What a vicious character. Warping one's mind to think things that are not necessarily the truth. Okay, this morning as I was going through a few things (I'm in the middle of packing--we're moving), I came across an old note book with some notes that I had jotted down. The topic of discussion: Jealousy, and what to do about it.

I was taught to believe that jealousy is a wasted emotion, that can wreak the most havoc, if allowed to go unchecked. I also know, that jealousies ugly root hides in the guise of insecurities. When you are insecure about anything...Beware! The green eyed monster is not too far behind.

I've experienced battles with the green eyed monster; we all have. If you say you haven't, I'm apt to believe that most of what you say isn't the truth. Anywho! I learned, it is not easy being green! Jealousy takes a lot of energy. What was I jealous about, you might ask? Well, keeping it honest and real...I have dealt with a weight issue what seems like FOREVER! But I was maintaining, losing a few pounds here and there. Then enter a co-worker. Who, by the way, in my opinion did not need to lose an ounce! However, she felt she did, and so she started this new "diet" (I so hate that word), anywho. She started dropping the pounds, faster than I could blink.

Now enters my jealousy...she was looking wonderful, and when I looked at myself...Blah! I could hardly stand to be in the same room as her. I wished, she'd just be quiet about all her success! But in all actuality, I was angry at myself for what seem to me at the time--as my failure. I found myself not being very social with her, as I was previously. In fact, I found myself pulling away from many activities that I was doing at the time.

My God! What was happening to me? Jealousy! That green eyed monster nearly cost me a friendship, and almost caused me to put back on the few pounds I did lose! Because if you didn't know it, let me tell you now; jealousy can easily lead to self-pity, and for many people in that state--they eat to suppress the feelings that they are trying to evade. Lord, help me please! I really had to get a hold of myself. So, I started writing down my "feelings" in my journal, and appropriately named: It's Not Easy Being Green!

How did I finally get it together? I yelled at myself. My brother and sister in-law affectionately call me, The Captain. I have a no non-sense kind of attitude, and not too mention the effect I have on my nieces and nephews. So, I had to be my own drill sergeant, and take charge of my poor attitude and get it together.

My primary problem? Comparing myself to someone else. We should never compare ourselves to anyone else. Besides, you don't even know what that person may be going through. Or, what it took for them to get where they are at. Their shoes may not be such a great fit. And please, learn to love the skin you're in. Because until you do, no one else can.

Jealousy! Boy do we know you well...Perhaps too well. It's definitely not easy being green...So, I'm choosing another color!

Love Yourself

Fare Thee Well

Fare Thee Well...good day. Fare Thee Well.
I was speaking with a friend this morning--actually two friends (three-way)--and we were discussing the hurt and pain that one might encounter during marriage. The saddest realization was the fact, that many problems occur from outside the marriage.

Many of the problems that our marriages have faced, seemed to have come from outside sources; primarily family. You know...those "loved ones" that only want the best for you? However, the canny thing about it, is that most of them are not married. Or, are in fact divorced. Then you have those "friends" that are so ready to offer up their opinions...Beware! Every friend baring gifts, is not necessarily a gift you should accept or even open!

I wonder if we (husbands & wives), would pull apart from everyone else, and concentrate on each other; how much father would we be in our goal to a healthy and sound marriage?

I will openely admit, that marriage is hard--sometimes--but it is so much worth the joy. Moreover, it is harder yet when we allow outsiders into our intimate circle. I don't know about anyone else, but two adults in my marriage bed is enough for me! Only two people should be deciding what goes on in my home: my husband and myself. Remember that old saying: Too Many Cooks Spoil The Pot? Well, too many people's opinion in one's marriage creates devestating results.

Yes, sometimes we invite people into our circle to give advice, or get their take on something. However, we should never divulge the secrets of our marriage without one another's consent. I'm of the strong belief that, what goes on between a husband and wife, is between a husband and wife. Now, don't get me wrong; I am aware of those extreme cases of where abuse may be taking place...but I am not referring to that at this time. (That's a discussion for another time) What I am saying, however, is that we have to be careful of the advice we are receiving, and who we are inviting into our circle. Not everyone is for "us" as they may appear to be, and may do more harm than good.

Oh yeah! For heaven's sake! Why do we take advice or listen to people who have never been married? Or, for that matter, prefer to be single? If that's what they choose--fine. But for goodness sake! Marriage is for those who have chosen a different path than single hood. If you want to continue to live the single way of life...then please, don't get married. Because you will definitely do more harm than good...especially if children are involved. And, this is definitely my opion. But judging from the things I have seen and witnessed...marriage is not for the faint of heart...Or for those loving the single life.

My Grandmama ( I know: grandmama. That's what I called her :) ) used to say to me: That marriage is for grown folks. Now I understand. It definitely takes a certain maturity to be married. And, if you don't have it...you will definitely find yourself in a whole heap of trouble...trying to figure out, how to get out!

Well, I suppose I have rambled on again...but, fare thee well. I pray that your day goes well and that you get out of it everything that you are looking for.

Fare Thee Well

It's Amazing!

It's amazing! I can't believe I finally got around to doing this. Lazy? No. Scared? No...not that either. Procrastinator...yes! I admit--I've been quite busy doing many things...but it should never be an excuse to start something that's been in your heart to do. No excuse! I really have none.

However, I digress...
Tell Me Where You Hurt is the actual title of a poem I had written a while ago. (I'll post that at a later date) I see so many things that are causing so many people pain...it makes my heart heavy. Now, don't get me wrong-- I am no goody-two-shoes...nor am I a saint...and God knows I am farrrrrrr from perfect. But what I am, is a very good listener. A very good friend.

Sometimes, people just want to talk...they want to be heard without anyone necessarily telling them how to slove their problems...but, just to acknowlegde their hurt, that it does exist, and if advice or direction is what they desire...that they may receive it without feeling condemned or ridiculed.

My hurt? Well, I happen to have a few. However, right now, I am in the middle of major transitions which are causing some major pain...nothing I will not get through. But seeing the end of the tunnel? It sure seems a long way off. Nevertheless, I have faith, and believe that the storms will soon pass.

Well, I guess I better end this first post now. Surely, someone will think I am long winded...maybe so, but it's all in love. Anywho :)! I'll be getting the hang of this and checking in often...I'm quite curious to how people are feeling and what's going on in their world. So, I hope this new journey of mine will not only bring me peace and pleasure...but many others as well.

Peace