Friday, October 27, 2006

Fare Thee Well

Fare Thee Well...good day. Fare Thee Well.
I was speaking with a friend this morning--actually two friends (three-way)--and we were discussing the hurt and pain that one might encounter during marriage. The saddest realization was the fact, that many problems occur from outside the marriage.

Many of the problems that our marriages have faced, seemed to have come from outside sources; primarily family. You know...those "loved ones" that only want the best for you? However, the canny thing about it, is that most of them are not married. Or, are in fact divorced. Then you have those "friends" that are so ready to offer up their opinions...Beware! Every friend baring gifts, is not necessarily a gift you should accept or even open!

I wonder if we (husbands & wives), would pull apart from everyone else, and concentrate on each other; how much father would we be in our goal to a healthy and sound marriage?

I will openely admit, that marriage is hard--sometimes--but it is so much worth the joy. Moreover, it is harder yet when we allow outsiders into our intimate circle. I don't know about anyone else, but two adults in my marriage bed is enough for me! Only two people should be deciding what goes on in my home: my husband and myself. Remember that old saying: Too Many Cooks Spoil The Pot? Well, too many people's opinion in one's marriage creates devestating results.

Yes, sometimes we invite people into our circle to give advice, or get their take on something. However, we should never divulge the secrets of our marriage without one another's consent. I'm of the strong belief that, what goes on between a husband and wife, is between a husband and wife. Now, don't get me wrong; I am aware of those extreme cases of where abuse may be taking place...but I am not referring to that at this time. (That's a discussion for another time) What I am saying, however, is that we have to be careful of the advice we are receiving, and who we are inviting into our circle. Not everyone is for "us" as they may appear to be, and may do more harm than good.

Oh yeah! For heaven's sake! Why do we take advice or listen to people who have never been married? Or, for that matter, prefer to be single? If that's what they choose--fine. But for goodness sake! Marriage is for those who have chosen a different path than single hood. If you want to continue to live the single way of life...then please, don't get married. Because you will definitely do more harm than good...especially if children are involved. And, this is definitely my opion. But judging from the things I have seen and witnessed...marriage is not for the faint of heart...Or for those loving the single life.

My Grandmama ( I know: grandmama. That's what I called her :) ) used to say to me: That marriage is for grown folks. Now I understand. It definitely takes a certain maturity to be married. And, if you don't have it...you will definitely find yourself in a whole heap of trouble...trying to figure out, how to get out!

Well, I suppose I have rambled on again...but, fare thee well. I pray that your day goes well and that you get out of it everything that you are looking for.

Fare Thee Well

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I just came across your blog, and wanted to say I completely agree with your thoughts on marriage. Too often we let other people into our personal lives and it creates bigger problems.